he’s so hot right now

All I can think to write about is the new shirt I bought tonight.

It has the ever brilliant quote,”You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” and Ham’s face plastered on it. How old am I again?

From this moment on, I will start building a more adult-appropriate wardrobe.

One last goodbye tomorrow, and then I’ll be on my way back to Ohio. It’s been a long three months, and I’m ready to be back. I only wish it weren’t breaking my mother’s heart. She and I are on rather opposite ends of the excitement spectrum, and that’s hard to handle with care. My dad will be fine, and my middle brother, but I do worry about Owen. He’s starting a new school and hormones are all over the place. I hope he’ll be okay without a big sister around.

I’ve never been one to beg in a friendship, as in “we’ll always be friends, forever and ever, right?” I simply assume that person will be in my life until I die, and move on with the relationship. Lately, though, my friends from Ohio have caused me to be incredibly clingy {my least favorite quality in myself and others}. Long-distance friendships with only a year of memories could end up blowing away rather fast. I almost feel like hugging my friends on Saturday and not letting go until we come up with some sort of soul-binding friendship pact.

Yeah, those people from Ohio have messed me up something fierce. Rather, God has messed me up. This past year He has been stripping down defenses I didn’t realize I had, and showing me how desperately needy and clingy I am. I hate the process, but the result is sweet, with relationships being more precious and each hug from a friend more meaningful. Some days my heart feels like a puddle of happiness, which I realize sounds like the silliest sentence possible to describe loving others.

But, for now, I’m okay with being a puddle for my friends.

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