our favorite kind of sauce

I finished reading Me Before You last night. I breathed deeply at the end and sat for a moment; I haven’t done that over a book since The Book Thief. Maddie and I went to see Me Before You in theaters a few weeks ago. It was a moving and beautiful film despite the ending. We sat in her car and thought for a while afterwards, then went to her house to eat ice cream and watched a “happier” movie (Clueless is odd and adorable, by the way). She and I kept agreeing, over and over, how beautiful Me Before You was and how terribly romantic the characters were, in a simple and sweet way.

After I finished the book a familiar weight settled on my heart: the weight of loving one special person. Jojo Moyes wrote the character of Lou well and was spot on in describing the  connection Lou felt with Will. The intimacy they shared was more affection than instant attraction and more companionship than sexual attraction. I don’t agree with the book’s final act, but I appreciated the commitment Lou maintained towards Will.

I don’t know exactly what I am trying to get across here, other than I am thankful for the cozy and safe relationship between Lou and Will. As my mother says, I am a “pair of old shoes” kind of girl when it comes to love. When two people go through the motions of life together as each other’s best friend, it makes my old-feeling soul dance a little.

When I was eighteen I thought I had that kind of relationship. It didn’t pan out and that’s okay, but I remember how good it was to be easy and comfortable with someone I loved. Even if I didn’t understand every important aspect of love, I treasure many aspects from that relationship, especially the aspect of sitting with your best friend and doing a mundane sort of thing.

Maybe this post is a thank you to Jojo Moyes for writing a “pair of old shoes” love story, or maybe it’s a reminder to myself to not settle when it comes to finding a match to my old shoe soul. There may yet be a worn but clean Converse shoe that just matches my own.

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