It’s my last day as an intern at this cozy insurance brokerage. Don’t ask me what I learned and don’t ask me if I’m sad—those realizations won’t come for a few months or so.
I get attached to people very quickly, their faces and laughs and favorite words to say. The people here this summer have been inclusive and gracious and a quirky little family for me. They have been reminders that people are so flawed and yet so beautiful and they deserve my love because even if they don’t know it they are images of God. I hope I have been not only sunshine to them but truth and love as well.
I was convicted by my Mads to do better in my reading of the Bible, and especially the wisdom portion. Her wisdom and willingness to wrestle with difficult topics inspired me to study Ecclesiastes again, and the other morning I read this:
Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” for it is not from wisdom that you ask this – Ecclesiastes 7:8-10
These verses hit me in the gut because I hate endings and I’m still so proud and I get too angry and I dwell far too often on former days and I’m not all that wise yet. I want to hang onto whatever stage of life I have been in and I don’t want to move on, even if the things to come might be better. I like security and knowing my way around but the future is uncertain and that so often scares me.
The routine of this summer is ending. I will need to be patient and not angry as an RA this year. I cannot dwell with bitterness on the goodness of days past, for that action is not from God.
As July ends, I will choose to believe in the goodness of God, the wisdom He spoke through Solomon, and the words He gave to C.S. Lewis:
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.