michigan in the rearview

Memories from freshman year have been popping up on my social media feeds. I look at my younger face on the screen and am glad to be here now, a junior in college who has done more and understands more and isn’t so gosh darn naive.

Most of the pictures that come up contain my friends, the crazy people who have been doing life with me since the first day we stepped onto campus. Classes are harder, we hardly ever do fun things together as a group, and the future is kind of freaking us out…..but I can count on those people to love and support me.

Last week, I said goodbye to one of those people.

I’ve been unsettled ever since we sat at a picnic table and talked underneath a Tuesday night sky. Circumstances are crappy and yeah the goodbye isn’t forever but oh it will never be like it was these past two years. I’ve forgotten how it is to have people change in ways that make you want to slap and hug some sense into them.

We sang Disney songs obnoxiously in the cafeteria, laughed our heads off at YouTube videos, and took ugly pictures on other peoples’ laptops. We gave each other hugs because we missed our families, drank Mountain Dew like it was going out of style, and often talked about important things. We were best friends, once upon a time.

Freshman year is long gone, and mostly I am thankful for that fact. I just wish some friendships from then hadn’t disappeared too.

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